^v 


THE    MINOR    DRAMA. 

No.  XXXVII. 


THE  IRISH  AMBASSADOR 

21   (tfomeig 


IN     TWO     ACTS. 


BY   JAMES    KENNEY. 


WITH  THE  STAGE  BUSINESS,  CAST  OF  CHARACTERS, 
COSTUMES,  RELATIVE  POSITIONS,  ETC. 


NEW    YORK: 
WM.   TAYLOR   &   CO. 

151  NASSAU  STRKET,  CORNER  OF  SPRUCE 


EDITORIAL    INTRODUCTION. 

The  "  IRISH  AMBASSADOR  "  was  introduced  to  the  American 
Public  by  the  late  Tyrone  Power,  and  the  comedy  returns  the 
compliment  wherever  and  whenever  it  is  brought  before  us,  by 
calling  up  the  jovial  image,  and  renewing  the  pleasant  memory 
of  that  happiest  of  Irish  performers.  The  first  personator  of 
Sir  Patrick  O'Plenipo  stands  apart  in  the  recollection  of  all 
modern  frequenters  of  the  Theatre,  a  cabinet  picture  by  itself, 
neatly  framed,  in  glowing  color,  and  so  like  life  that  we  all 
remember  him  as  a  personal  friend,  with  whom  we  have  passed 
many  happy  hours.  We  do  not  seem  to  have  known  him  on 
the  stage,  with  make-believe  scenery  and  the  glare  of  the  foot- 
lights, but  as  the  cheerfullest  of  boon  companions,  with  whom  it 
was  our  good  fortune  to  have  been  intimately  acquainted,  and  to 
have  passed  many  of  the  most  delightful  evenings  of  our  lives. 
Other  men  act  the  Lishman,  Power  was  the  Irishman :  whether 
gentle  or  simple,  (as  an  admirable  critic  in  a  contemporary 
magazine  described  him,)  the  attorney  or  the  tailor,  the  country 
gentleman  or  the  rustic,  the  valet  or  the  ambassador,  he  was 
the  finest,  the  most  natural,  the  most  attractive  actor  of  his 
time.  He  gave  perpetual  freshness  to  a  range  of  parts  liable  to 
a  monotonous  treatment.  Without  much  reference  to  the  wit 
or  poverty  of  his  author,  he  flooded  the  scene  with  the  abundant 
sunshine  of  his  own  ample  humor,  and  the  poorest  subordinates 
who  played  with  him  brightened,  like  the  happy  insects  of 
summer,  in  his  enlivening  glow.  He  has  had  many  successors, 
and  (it  is  but  justice  to  him  and  them)  to  say  he  has  had  no 
equal.  Among  those  to  whom  have  fallen  different  corners  of 
his  mantle,  we  may  mention,  as  among  those  who  have  inherited 
the  most  considerable  shares — one  of  the  cleverest  of  modern 
playwrights  and  rattling  performers,  Mr.  John  Brougham  ;  Mr. 

M55811 


iv  EDITORIAL    INTRODUCTION. 

Hudson,  with  a  genial  warmth  of  performance  akin  to  Power's 
felicity  of  temperament;  Mr.  Collins,  with  his  telling  delivery 
of  the  songs,  and,  broad  and  rude,  but  constantly  refining,  Mr. 
Barney  Williams. 

The  " Irish  Ambassador"  is,  and  will  long  continue  to  be,  as 
a  wine-cask  from  the  savor  of  excellent  vintage  it  has  once 
held,  an  acceptable  piece,  from  the  recollection  of  the  popular 
performer  by  whom  it  was  ushered  before  the  world. 

C.  M. 


CAST     OF     CHARACTERS. 


Sir  Patrick  O'Plenipo  ft 

Philadelphia. 
Ir.  T.  Power. 

'    Walstein. 
1    Murdoch. 
Rowbotham. 
1    Watson. 
1    Kent. 
*    Crutar. 
1    Gallott. 

Park,  1845.     " 
Mr.  Brougham. 
"    Fredericks. 
«'    Dyott. 
"    H.  Placide. 
"    Fisher. 
"    Povey. 
•»    Jones. 
"     King.        t 

Miss  Kate  Horn. 
Mrs.  Abbott. 

Broadway,  1850. 
Mr.  Collins. 
"     Fredericks. 
"    E.Shaw. 
"    Whiting. 
"    Thompson. 
"    Hind. 
"    Byrne 
"    Naish. 

Mrs.  Knight. 
Miss  Kate  Horn. 

Rodolph  

Count  Morenos  
Baron  Lowencraft  .  . 
Olmut" 

Officer               

Lady  Emily  Mrs.  May  wood. 
Isabella  .  .                       «'    Rowbotham. 

COSTUMES. 

SIR  PATRICK.— First  dress :  Undress  uniform.  Second  dress :  Full  dress  aide- 
de-camp;  scarlet  coat,  black  pantaloons  with  gold  or  silver  lace. 

GRAND  DUKE.— First  dress:  Green  coat,  white  breeches,  military  boots. 
Second  dress  :  The  same,  with  star,  stockings  and  shoes. 

RODOLPH.— First  dress :  Undress  frock  coat,  breeches,  and  high  boots.  Second 
dress :  Full  Austrian  unifoi'in. 

COUNT  MORENOS.— Handsome  court  suit. 

BARON  LOWENCRAFT.— The  same. 

HERMAN.— Plain  court  suit. 

OFFICER.— Handsome  uniform. 

HUNTSMEN.— Green  frock  coats,  and  high  boots. 

LADY  EMILY.— First  dress:  Handsome  morning  dress.  Second  dress:  Rich 
ball  dress. 

ISABELLA.— Rich  travelling  pelisse.     Second  dress:  Handsome  ball  dress. 


EXITS  AND  ENTRANCES. 

R.  means  Right;  L.  Left;  R.  D.  Right  Door;  L.  D.  Left  Door; 
8.  E.  Second  Entrance;  U.  E.  Upper  Entrance;  M.  D.  Middle  Door. 


R.  means  Right;    L.  Left; 
L.  0.  Left  of  Centre. 


RELATIVE  POSITIONS. 

C.    Centre;   R.  C.  Right  of  Centre ; 


THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR. 


ACT    I. 

SCENE  I. — An  elegant  apartment. 
Enter  LADY  EMILY  and  PRINCE  RODOLPH. 

Lady  E.  Begone,  dear  Rodolph,  I  entreat — the  sun  is 
high  and  all  the  world  will  be  stirring. 

Rodolpk.  So  soon,  Emily?  This  impatience  looks 
unkind. 

Ladij  E.  Think  what  you  are  exposed  to.  You  will 
be  missed  at  the  castle,  arid  should  any  one  meet  your 
highness  at  such  an  hour —  [Casting  tier  eyes  down. 

Rodolph.  Your  respect  is  admirable.  But  set  your 
fears  at  rest.  My  highness  has  little  to  apprehend,  me- 
thinks :  though  the  house  is  yours,  an  affair  of  gallantry 
with  ray  wife,  my  Princess,  will  not  ultimately  dishonor 
either  my  highness  or  yours. 

Lady  E.  Ultimately  !  But  who  knows  we  are  married, 
at  present — and  if  we  betray  it  prematurely,  what  may  be 
the  consequence  ]  A  Grand  Duke,  a  great  German 
potentate  like  your  uncle,  is  not  to  be  trifled  with.  Are 
you  not  the  heir  apparent  to  his  sovereignty  ]  And  though 
you  may  plead  that  his  own  son  was  alive  when  you 
married  me,  and  that  for  five  long  years  you  were  posi- 
tively dying  for  me,  excellent  reasons  as  they  were  with 
me,  they  will  have  very  little  weight  with  him.  I  fear 
we  shall  be  discovered,  Rodolph,  and  I,  no  doubt,  shall  be 
sent  back  to  my  native  country,  covered  with  shame  and 
disgrace. 

Rodolph.  [  With  energy.]  Never  ! 

Lady  E.  Oh  !  yes,  you'll  be  very  heroic,  I   dare  say  ; 


8  THE   IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [ACT  I. 

but  what  will  that  do  against  reasons  of  state  policy — the 
sovereign  dignity  ? 

Rodolph.  They  may  all  be  reconciled. 

Lady  E.  Ah  !  you  have  no  reason  to  hope  so ;  though 
/"have  perhaps.  [Significantly. 

Rodolph.  [Eagerly.}  You  have — is  it  possible  ]  What 
are  they  1  Fear  not  my  delay  j  the  Duke  was  abroad 
by  day-break  on  a  hunting  party,  and  I  may  join  him  at 
my  leisure  ;  explain,  I  entreat. 

Lady  E.  Well,  then,  listen  patiently.  When  you  came 
to  England  for  instruction,  and  thought  proper  to  make 
me  a  party  in  your  researches,  I  was,  as  you  know,  under 
the  protection  of  our  excellent  princess.  She  alone  was 
privy  to  our  marriage.  In  our  correspondence  since,  she 
evinced  the  greatest  anxiety  for  its  prosperous  issue,  and 
has  at  last  taken  a  most  decided  and  active  part  in  our 
favor. 

Rodolph.  Then  there  is  hope  indeed ;  and  how  will  she 
proceed  1 

Lady  E.  In  her  last  letter  she  informs  me  that,  without 
losing  a  moment,  a  gentleman  will  arrive  here  from  the 
British  Court — a  gentleman  of  the  greatest  address  and 
discretion — who,  without  any  apparent  mission,  will  have 
it  in  charge  to  insinuate  with  the  Duke  the  matter  of  our 
marriage,  and  by  every  possible  means  to  endeavor  to 
accomplish  our  reconciliation. 

Rodolph.  Generous  Princess  !  To  be  honest  with  you, 
Emily,  this  was  my  last  hope,  and  comes  most  seasonably. 
Ah  !  if  you  knew  all  my  perplexities ! 

Lady  E.  And  why  don't  I  know  them,  sir.  Let  me 
tell  you,  Rodolph,  I'm  not  at  all  pleased  with  you.  I'm 
not  jealous — you  know  I  am  not ;  but  that  portrait,  air, 
that  you  huddled  up  yesterday  when  I  entered — 

Rodolph.  What,  you  observed  it  then  ? 

Lady  E.  I  did,  indeed,  sir. 

Rodolph.  I  dreaded  speaking  to  you  upon  the  subject. 

Lady  E.  So  did  I — I  promise  you. 

Rodolph.  After  all,  what  is  it  ? 

Lady  E.  Ay,  after  ALL,  what  is  it  1  Exactly  my 
question  ;  answer,  if  you  please. 

Rodolph.  Well,  then,  my  dear  Emily,  in  a  few  words — 
that  portrait — that  portrait  is — 


SCENE  I.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  9 

Lady  E.  Well,  sir. 
.  Rodolph.  Is  one  of  two — 
Lady  E.  What,  one  of  two — 
Rodolph.  Hush  !     Some  one  is  coming. 
Lady  E.  Provoking ! 

Enter  HERMAN. 

Well,  Herman,  what  do  you  want  ? 

Herman.  [Giving  letter.]  A  letter,  madam.  The  Baron 
waits. 

Lady  E.  There,  read  it  yourself,  I  beg. 

Rodolph.  [Opens  and  reads.]  "An  old  friend,  just  ar- 
rived from  England,  entreats  Lady  Delawney's  permission 
to  pay  his  respects  to  her.  He  brings  news  from  some  of 
her  best  friends  in  London;  but  does  not  venture  to  visit 
her  in  this  country,  till  he  is  apprised  that  it  is  agreeable  to 
her  Ladyship  to  receive  him. 

Signed,  PATRICK  O'PLENIPO." 

Lady  E.  Sir  Patrick  O'Plenipo  !  He  was  in  the  suite 
of  the  Princess;  doubtless  the  very  man  we  are  expecting. 

llodolph.  At  such  a  moment !  It  can  be  no  other  ! 
This  precaution — 

Lady  E.  This  manner  of  expressing  himself — 

Rodolph.  Every  circumstance  confirms  it. 

Lady  E.  [To  Herman,  anxiously.} — My  compliments 
to  the  gentleman.  He  may  come  this  morning — immedi- 
ately— as  soon  as  he  possibly  can  make  it  convenient. 

[Herman  going. 

Rodolph.  Herman,  a  moment.  \To  Lady  Emily.}  He 
shall  attend  me  through  the  park  ;  accompanied  by  him  I 
shall  awaken  less  suspicion. 

Lady  E.  And  the  portraits,  sir  ? 

Rodolph.  When  we  meet  again. 

Lady  E.  That  won't  do,  sir;  I  insist  that  you  put 
them  in  my  possession;  let  me  see  them;  I'll  engage  to 
unriddle  them. 

Rodolph.   Within  an  hour  you  shall  receive  them. 

Lady  E.  Enough  !     Now  I'm  satisfied. 

Rodolph.  [Concluding  the  letter.]  "Apprise  Sir  Patrick 
of  your  wishes,  and  let  his  agency  fulfill  them''  With  such 
a  character  from  the  Princess,  we  must  confide  in  him 
without  reserve.  Adieu. 


10  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [AcT  I. 

Lady  E.  Adieu  ! 

[Rodolph  about  to  exit — Herman  stops  Mm. 

Herman.  Your  highness  cannot  pass  this  way. 

Rodolph.  Why  I 

Herman.  There  is  company  in  the  drawing-room. 

Lady  E.  And  who  are  they  ? 

Herman.  The  Count  Morenos  and  his  daughter,  Donna 
Isabella. 

Rodolph.  The  Spanish  Envoy  ! 

Lady  E.  Ah !  when  did  he  arrive  ? 

Herman.  Last  night,  madam. 

Rodolph.  You  know  him,  then. 

Lady  E.  Perfectly ;  at  Paris  we  became  intimately 
acquainted.  Take  care  he  doesn't  remember  you;  for 
he  is  so  thoroughly  diplomatic — so  full  of  scrutiny  and 
finesse — not  a  word  or  look  can  escape  his  observation. 
A  smile,  a  sigh,  a  gesture,  a  glance  of  the  eye,  or  a  ruffle 
of  the  eyebrow,  might  betray  our  secret  to  him  at  once. 

Rodolph.  Nay,  I  only  fear  your  discovering  his  secret ! 
But  he  waits  for  you  ;  adieu,  my  only  beloved. 

Lady  E.  Till  this  evening. 

Rodolph.  Sooner,  if  possible.  [Exeunt. 

SCENE  II. — An  elegant  saloon,  with  two  portraits,  male 
and  female — Folding  doors  open,  showing  a  garden. 

Enter  COUNT  MORENOS  and  ISABELLA. 

Count.  Now,  Isabella,  be  wary,  be  cautious;  don't 
commit  me ;  don't  on  any  occasion  betray  the  motive 
of  our  journey. 

Isabella.  Why  how  should  I,  papa,  "when  I  don't  know 
myself] 

Count.  That's  nothing;  a  penetrating  politician  will 
discover  it  at  second  hand. 

Isabella.  Will  he  ?  Then  I'll  look  very  grave  and 
steady. 

Count.  That  won't  do  ;  he'll  know  it's  assumed. 

Isabella.  Then  I'll  laugh,  papa;  I'll  do  nothing  but 
laugh — ha !  ha  !  ha !  ha  ! 

Count.  No,  no,  no!  That's  a  broader  mask  than  the 
other — that  will  never  do. 

Isabella.  Bless  me ! — then  what  will  do,  papa  ? 


SCENE  II.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  11 

Count.  Let  me  consider. 

Isabella.  Consider! — La!  what  about?  Didn't  my 
grandmamma  teach  me  that  honesty  was  the  best  policy 
— and  will  you  go  and  teach  my  grandmamma,  papa  1 

Count.  Profanation  !  Do  you  compare  an  old  woman 
to  a  minister  of  state  ? 

Isabella.  Yes,  I  do,  papa;  and,  for  all  I  know,  it's  a 
very  apt  comparison. 

Count.  Go,  go — you  are  a  simpleton. 

Isabella.  It  may  be  so;  but  I'm  quite  sure — present 
company  always  excepted — a  great  minister  may  be  too 
cunning  by  half;  and  if  ever  a  new-fashioned  one  should 
start,  downright  honest  and  straight  forward,  he'd  beat  all 
the  old  conundrums  put  together. 

Count.  Silence  :  I  hear  the  Lady  Emily  coming.  Once 
more  I  say,  don't  commit  me. 

Enter  LADY  EMILY. 

Lady  E.  Count  Morenos,  and  my  charming  Isabella ! 
What  an  agreeable  surprise  to  meet  you  again  in  this 
country  ! 

Count.  A  journey  of  pleasure,  madam!  Purely  a  jour- 
ney of  pleasure,  to  show  my  daughter  the  country;  and 
I  was  determined  to  pay  you  our  first  visit,  for  we  are 
just  arrived — 

Isabella.  [Surprised.]  Papa ! 

Count.  \Frowns  at  her.}  Just  alighted  from  our  carnage, 
and  I  protest  that  the  journey  has  agreed  with  me  sur- 
prisingly. 

Isabella.  Don't  say  so,  papa — I  declare  you  were  as 
restless  as  if  you  had  been  in  a  high  fever;  always  talk- 
ing about  Lowencraft,  the  Saxon  Envoy ;  always  asking 
questions  about  him,  and  calculating  whether  he  had 
arrived  before  you — and  what  could  it  signify  ] 

Count.  Nothing — nothing  at  all,  child — mere  idle  curi- 
osity. What  should  it  be,  eh  !  madam  1 

Isabella.  La !  papa,  Lady  Emily  is  thinking  of  matters 
of  much  more  importance.  Now,  do  tell  Lady  Emily 
what  is  going  forward.  We  are  going  to  make  a  stir — 
I'm  sure  we  are — for  papa  whispered  to  me  to  carry  all 
my  best  ball  dresses  with  me, 

Count.  I  whispered  you,  child  ? 


12  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [ACT  I. 

Isabella.  Yes,   you   did,    papa — and  he  has  given  me 
pearls  and  diamonds,  and  a  magnificent  full  dress   mantle, 
made  exactly  on  the  model  of  those  worn  by  the  maids  of 
honor  at  the  Queen's  marriage. 
.  •  Count.  [Aside.]  The  devil ! 

Isabella.  And  I  shouldn't  at  all  wonder  if  something  of 
the  same  sort — 

Count.  Isabella ! 

Isabella.  Well,  papa,  don't  vex  yourself;  only  let  them 
open  the  ball — only  let  me  hear  the  music,  and  begin  the 
gallopade — and  when  my  feet  are  once  in  motion,  my 
tongue  shall  be  as  quiet — I'll  not  utter  a  syllable,  either  of 
dresses,  or  mantles,  or  the  Saxon  ambassador,  or — or — 
apropos,  my  dear  Lady  Emily.  [Talks  to  her  apart. 

Count.  \  Aside .]  Never  let  an  ambassador  travel  with  a 
loquacious  daughter;  the  murder's  out — so  I  may  as  well 
confess,  and  make  the  best  of  it. 

Lady  E.  What  is  all  this,  Count  ]  Make  mysteries 
with  me  1 

Count.  By  no  means,  madam;  I  am  only  vexed  my 
daughter's  giddiness  robs  me  of  the  credit  of  treating  you 
vrith  that  prompt  and  ample  confidence  I  intended.  In 
brief,  then,  madam,  the  affair  that  brings  me  hither  is  no 
less  than  a  marriage  between  Prince  Rodolph  and  the 
Princess  of  our  illustrious  house  ! 

Lady  E.  Impossible ! 

Isabella.  Don't  say  so  ;  don't  wake  me  from  the  delight- 
ful dream  !  And  why  not  tell  me,  papa  ?  What  need  of 
secresy — the  bells  will  ring,  the  trumpets  will  blow  ? 

Count.  And  your  tongue  will  drown  them  all,  I  warrant. 
But  I  tell  you  no,  child — there  are  obstacles. 

Lady  E.  Obstacles  ? 

Count.  Formidable  ones  ! 

Lady  E.  [Aside.]  I  breathe  again. 

Count.  I  have  discovered,  from  my  own  peculiar  sources 
of  information,  that  Saxony  has  the  same  instructions. 

Lady  E.  [Aside.]  Another  rival ! 

Isabella.  Only  think  of  Saxony ! 

Count.  Baron  Lowencraft  is  expected  every  moment — 
a  subtle  competitor,  madam — our  reputation  is  critically 
at  stake.  If  we  may  canvass  your  support — if  we  can 
but  recruit  such  wit  and  beauty  in  our  cause  ? 


-SCENE  II.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  13 

Lady  E.  Oh,  sir,  you  overrate  me  sadly  ;  but  as  far  as 
I  am  concerned,  depend  upon  it,  your  rival  shall  have  no 
advantage  over  you. 

Count.  That's  generous,  rnadam.  I  have  also  to 
request  as  an  additional  favor,  madam,  that  during  my 
stay  here,  you  will  allow  my  daughter  to  remain  with 
you. 

Lady  E.  Willingly.  [Takes  Isabella's  Jiand. 

Isabella.  That's  because  he's  afraid  of  me. 

Count.  May  be  so  ;  I  have  cause  enough,  be  assured — 
not  on  her  own  account,  but  on  the  score  of  a  certain  gen- 
tleman she  knows  of,  that,  go  where  we  will,  we  are  sure 
to  find  upon  our  road. 

Isabella.  What  of  that,  papa?  It's  quite  by  accident, 
I'm  certain. 

Count.  I  don't  believe  it.  A  giddy,  crazy-pated  Irish- 
man, madam,  that  will  never  suit  me  for  a  son-in- 
law. 

Isabella.  And  why  not  1 

Count.  And  why  not !  Hasn't  he  thrown  away  the 
most  glorious  opportunities  ? — isn't  he  the  son  of  a  great 
diplomatist  ? — hasn't  he  been  attached  to  two  great  em- 
bassies ] — arid  when  he  was  at  Madrid  with  his  father 
didn't  I  give  him  lessons  myself] — but  all  to  no  purpose  ; 
he'll  never  make  a  statesman,  never! 

Isabella.  So  much  the  better,  papa;  if  he  did,  I  should 
hate  him.  Oh,  who  would  be  the  wife  of  an  ambassador, 
to  be  every  day  consulting  one's  lord  what  look  one  is  to 
put  on  for  the  day ;  never  daring  to  utter  a  syllable,  but 
running  all  the  world  over  with  one's  mouth  shut,  just  like 
a  Columbine  in  a  Pantomime  1  Shocking !  I  could  not 
endure  it,  and  so  I  told  him. 

Count.  You  did  ? 

Isabella.   I  did. 

Count.  Why,  then,  you  shall  never  have  him,  I  am 
determined ;  and  in  confiding  my  daughter  to  you, 
madam,  I  trust  I  may  bid  defiance  to  Sir  Patrick 
O'Plenipo. 

Lady  E.  Sir  Patrick  O'Plenipo  ? 

Isabella.  Sir  Patrick  O'Plenipo. 

Lady  E.  Is  he  the  gentleman  you  fear  1 

Count.  The  gentleman  I  have  reason  to  fear,  madam. 


14  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [Ad  I. 

Enter  HERMAN. 

Herman.  Sir  Patrick  OTlenipo  ! 

Isabella.  Oh,  delightful ! 

Count.  There — how  comes  he  here  again  ? 

Lady  E.  Really,  Count,  it  is  impossible  for  one  to  say. 
[Aside.]  He'll  discover  all,  but  I  can't  dismiss  him. 
Show  him  in.  [Exit  Herman. 

Count.  I  told  you,  madam,  he  follows  us  everywhere. 
Surely  he  could  have  no  other  design — yet  I  could  almost 
suspect — 

Lady  E.  Pshaw  !  what  should  you  suspect,  sir  ? 

Isabella.  I  suspect  he's  a  very  clever  fellow  ! 

[Retires  up. 

Lady  E.  [Aside.]  And  so  do  I.  [Comes  down. 

Count.  [Aside.]  I'll  have  an  eye  upon  him.    [Retires  up. 

Enter  SIR  PATRICK. 

Sir  P.  Where  is  she?  Ah,  my  dear  Lady  Emily; 
lucky  man  I  am  to  behold  you  once  again,  when  so  many 
of  your  admirers  at  home  are  breaking  their  hearts  for 
you. 

Lady  E.  Your  usual  gallantry,  Sir  Patrick ! 

Sir  P.  By  my  honor,  madam,  since  your  ladyship  left 
us,  we  have  petitioned  for  an  export  tax  upon  beauty, 
and  that,  in  our  next  treaties,  the  British  be  made  con- 
traband all  over  the  world. 

Count.  Bravo  ! 

Isabella.  Bravo  !  [Isabella  and  Count  come  down. 

Sir  P.  Is  it  possible  ?  Do  I  see  the  beautiful  Donna 
Isabella?  I  am  overwhelmed  with  joy  and  confusion. 

Count.  And  if  you  are  overwhelmed  with  confusion, 
Sir  Patrick,  it  isn't  the  first  time,  I'll  answer  for 
you. 

Sir  P.  And  is  it  there  you  are  ?  There  spoke  the 
dandiest  of  diplomatists — and  there  you  are  again  with 
your  long  head,  your  piercing  eye,  and  penetrating  nose, 
that  can  rummage  out  the  contents  of  our  simple  craniums 
as  if  they  were  roasted  potatoes. 

Count.  Why,  the  contents  of  some  craniums — 

Sir  P.  Don't  be  personal ;  to  be  sure  I  was  an  infant 
in  your  hands,  and  yet,  most  sagacious  Don  Cavalier,  I'll 


SCENE  II.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  15 

bet  you  a  hogshead  of  Seville  oranges  you  can't  guess  the 
nature  of  my  important  mission,  at  this  moment. 

Count.  You  intrusted  with  an  important  mission  ? 

Sir  P.  Faith,  I  am,  and  it's  a  very  grave  negociation. 

Lady  E.  [Aside.\  Imprudent ! 

Sir  P.  Ah !  you're  surprised  now ;  you  think  me  a 
blundering  blockhead — hardly  to  be  trusted  with  an 
ambassador's  pack-saddle-— but  let  me  tell  you,  Count, 
they  have  a  different  opinion  of  me  at  the  Court  of  St. 
James.  I  am  employed,  ladies,  and  here  I  am  come  to 
astonish  the  Germans  with  my  own  natural  born  di- 
plomacy. 

Count.  You  will  astonish  them,  I  dare  say  ? 

Sir  P.  You  may  say  that,  I  ivill  astonish  them. 

Isabella.  Is  this  possible,  Sir  Patrick  ?  You,  ambassador 
— you  'I 

Sir  P.   You  may  say  that,  my  beauty  ! 

Count.  With  secret  instructions'? 

Sir  P.  With  secret  instructions — and,  as  you  probably 
may  be  able  to  assist  me  in  the  business,  I'll  explain  my 
secret  instructions  to  the  whole  company. 

Lady  E.  [Alarmed.]   Sir  Patrick ! 

Sir  P.  Madam  1     We'll  be  colleagues  and  coadjutors. 

Lady  E.  But  your  mission,  sir,  may  be  at  variance. 

Sir  P.  Then,  madam,  we'll  be  colleagues  and  coadju- 
tors against  each  other,  and  an  explanation  is  the  more 
necessary. 

Count.  Certainly — certainly  ! 

[Nods  and  smiles  at  Lady  Emily. 

Sir  P.  You  see  what  an  innocent  I  am — but  you 
have  the  fascination  of  the  rattlesnake,  and  your  prey 
drops  into  your  mouth.  Learn,  then,  that  in  a  month 
from  this  time,  the  gay  old  Duchess  of  Dazzlecourt 
marries  her  darling  little  daughter — and  pretty  work 
there  will  be  among  the  tailors,  milliners,  and  mantua- 
makers.  Grosvenor  Square  ladies  will  be  astonished 
with  a  fete  and  fancy  ball,  combining  the  costumes  of 
every  nation  within  the  reach  of  an  ambasador — not 
from  the  vague  licentious  wardrobes  of  the  opera  and 
the  play-houses,  but  from  the  original  and  authentic 
sources  :  and  finding  your  humble  servant  inclined  for  a 
short  excursion  to  foreign  parts — "  To  you,  Sir  Pat,"  said 


16  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [AcT  I. 

the  Duchess.,  (she  alv/ays  calls  me  Sir  Pat,  in  her  good 
humor,)  "  to  your  known  taste  and  experience  I  confide 
this  important  mission" — and  here  I  am,  with  full  powers 
to  treat  with  civil  and  military,  soldiers  and  sailors,  count- 
esses, and  all  others.  I  am  carefully  to  investigate  all 
their  habiliments  from  top  to  toe — that  is,  ail  who 
have  any  claim  to  rank  with  the  picturesque  and  beauti- 
ful ;  and  upon  consideration,  Count,  that  will  not  inter- 
fere with  you  at  all,  at  all ! 

Lady  E.  Admirable ! 

Count.  \_Aside.\  An  artful  story. 

Isabella.  Upon  my  word,  Sir  Patrick,  how  you  do  go 
on. 

Sir  P.  By  my  soul,  I  do  go  on — I  have  gone  on — and 
•will  go  on.  Barring  a  slight  accident  on  the  road,  a  most 
auspicious  journey  I  have  made  of  it. 

Lady  E.  An  accident! 

Sir  P.  Oh,  a  trifle !  Travelling,  as  on  such  an 
occasion  I  ought,  like  the  wind,  and  like  a  pretty  smart 
gale  of  wind,  I  happened  to  come  in  contact  with  a  most 
formidable  sort  of  a  German  equipage  ;  a  landau  they 
call  it;  a  bronze  upon  wheels,  madam  :  a  fine,  substantial 
specimen  of  gothic  architecture :  and  taking  the  south 
wall  at  right  angles,  down  comes  the  whole  magnificent 
edifice,  and  presently  out  pops  its  respectable  tenant  from 
the  ruins,  inquiring  what  the  devil  I  was  about.  About 
a  delicate  affair,  said  I — begging  your  pardon ;  your 
tenement  blocked  up  the  high  road,  and  an  ambassador  is 
bound  to  lose  no  time,  and  so  I  put  it  out  of  the  way, 
and  now  I'll  go  on  my  way,  and  away  I  went — which  I 
I  am  sure  your  honor  will  think  a  most  satisfactory 
apology. 

Count.  [Significantly.]  Oh,  certainly !  And  so  you 
travel  over  seas,  upset  landaus,  and  run  along  the  road 
like  a  gale  of  wind,  to  verify  costumes  for  a  fancy  ball? 

Sir  P.  Don't  disparage  my  commission,  Count,  'tis  a 
very  delicate  charge,  as  I  told  the  gentleman  looking  out 
at  the  window,  with  an  eye  flashing  fire,  and  the  other 
eclipsed  with  his  periwig ;  and  I  repeat  it — to  con- 
template the  drapery  of  a  lovely  creature  in  the  abstract, 
forgetting  all  the  rest  of  her  beautiful  identity,  a  man 
must  have  the  clear  head  and  metaphysical  constitution  of 


SCENE  II.]  THE   IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  17 

an  Irishman  to  undertake  it.     I  appeal  to  my  own  Donna 
Isabella  ? 

Isabella.  You  do  ?  Why,  then,  I  must  say,  of  all  the 
rigmarole  stories — 

Sir  P.  Och,  for  shame  on  you  !  [Retires  up. 

Count.  [Aside  to  Lady  Emily.}  You  can't  believe  all 
this] 

Lady  E.  Not  literally,  perhaps. 

Sir  P.  [Comes  down.]  Now  he's  plotting  with  her 
ladyship. 

Isabella.  Why,  don't  you  see  he  doubts  your  story  1 

Sir  P.  Doubts  !  why  he'd  doubt  his  own  father ! 

Isabella.  What,  my  grandpapa  1 

Sir  P.  Yes,  ,and  your  grandmamma,  and  the  whole 
generation  with  all  my  heart ;  I  know  the  ways  of  his 
excellency,  and  yet  I  have  told  the  truth,  the  whole  truth, 
and  nothing  but  the  truth. 

Lady  E.  \Aside  to  the  Count.}  Now  you  see,  so  far, 
his  real  object  is  evident  enough.  \Looking  at  Isabella. 

Count.  I'm  not  sure  of  that !  [Looks  significantly  at 
Lady  Ejnily,  then  approaches  Sir  Patrick.]  You  intend, 
Sir  Patrick,  to  be  presented  to  the  Grand  Duke,  of 
course. 

Sir  P.  Devil  a  bit  !*  Here  is  the  potentate  I  negociate 
with,  and  if  we  could  only  get  the  proper  signature  to  a 
certain  treaty  of  alliance, — [  The  Count  appears  in  thought.} 
— defensive  and  offensive  '/ 

Lady  E.  Patience,  Sir  Patrick ;  you  know  the  terms 
on  which  the  lady  is  to  be  obtained,  and  I  trust  you  will 
soon  prove  your  claim  to  her;  but  that  is  a  matter  you 
and  I  must  discuss  between  ourselves,  that  is  if  you  dare 
trust  yourself  to  a  tete-a-tete  with  me. 

Sir  P.  Madam,  a  Plenipotentiary  is  prepared  for  any- 
thing. 

Lady  E.  Enough — you  shall  have  due  notice.  Come, 
Isabella,  I  must  show  you  to  your  apartment,  and  for  a 
while  will  leave  the  politicians  to  entertain  each  other. 

[Exit  with  Isabella. 

Count.  [Aside.]  His  character  may  have  changed;  I 
suspect  him  and  must  put  him  to  tr^e  proof  at  once. 
[Turning  towards  him  with  assumed. frankness  and  affabili- 
ty^ Well,  Sir  Patrick,  here  you  are. 


18  THR    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [ACT  I. 

Sir  P.  And  here  you  are,  and  here  we  both  are ! 

Count.  The  same  open,  sprightly,  agreeable  young 
fellow  you  used  to  be. 

Sir  P.  [Boiving.]  Oh,  blarney — oh,  nonsense  ! 

Count.  'Tis  the  truth,  as  all  who  know  you  will  witness ; 
but  as  to  your  story  of  the  fancy  ball  ? 

Sir  P.  Faith,  that  is  the  truth  also. 

Count.  If  you  hold  me  unworthy  of  your  confidence  on 
this  occasion,  I  must  tell  you  frankly,  any  hopes  you  may 
have  entertained  as  to  Isabella  are  categorically  at  an 
end. 

Sir  P.  Don't  tantalize  me.  Count ;  didn't  you  break 
off  the  treaty  ]  Now  you  are  beginning  with  a  fresh 
ultimatum. 

Count.  Sir,  my  objections  have  no  such  reference ;  I 
must  have  a  son-in-law  who  can  unite  with  me  in  the 
course  I  have  so  successfully  chosen.  Ay,  sir,  and  one 
competent  to  distinguish  himself. 

Sir  P.  And  haven't  I  had  the  best  intentions  in  life  ? — 
and  if  I  have  again  taken  up  the  sword,  isn't  that  the  real 
arbiter  eligantiarum  of  all  your  politicians  ?  Commend 
me  to  a  negociation  by  beat  of  drum — I'll  engage  to 
conduct  an  epistolary  one  with  any  statesman  in  Europe. 

Count.  No,  sir;  to  trim  the  political  balance  with  a 
nice  hand,  and  secure  tranquillity  by  address  and  diplo- 
matic dexterity,  that  is  the  glorious  aim  of  my  ambition  ? 

Sir  P.  And  wasn't  that  the  glorious  aim  of  my 
ambition  ] — and  didn't  1  try  myself  to  oblige  you, 
Count  ? — but  my  taste  for  Burgundy  and  good-fellowship 
was  the  ruin  of  my  hopes — in  "  vino  veritas,"  and  come  to 
the  wrong  truth  instead  of  the  right — or  right  instead  of 
the  wrong;  and  when  I  should  have  been  trimming 
the  political  balance,  by  the  power,  I  have  lost  my 
own ! 

Count.  And  yet,  Sir  Patrick,  you  may  be  on  the  road 
to  reformation — I  have  a  shrewd  notion  you  arc — and  if 
you  only  thought  proper  to  confide  to  me  the  true  nature 
of  your  present  business  here  ? 

Sir  P.  And  haven't  I  confided  it  to  the  whole  com- 
pany ] 

Count.  Nonsense ! 

Sir  P.  Haven't   I   confided   it  to  the   landladies   and 


SCENE  I.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  19 

chambermaids,  and  picked  up  the  choicest  collection  of 
bibs  and  tuckers  ? 

Enter  OLMUTZ. 

Count.  Recollect,  sir,  who  you  are  talking  to. 
[  Olmutz  comes  down ;  makes  a  grave  and  proud  salute ; 
appears  mysterious — Sir  Patrick  observes  him. 

Sir  P.  Perhaps  I  interrupt  business  1 

Olmutz.  Could  I  speak  a  word  in  private  with  the 
Count  Morenos? 

Sir  P.  By  all  means ;  consider  me,  as  every  body  else 
does,  an  absent  gentleman.  [Observing  an  old  picture.] 
Ha !  a  dignified  old  dowager,  a  noble  specimen  for  the 
Duchess.  [Takes  out  tablets  and  sketches.]  Never  mind 
me,  fire  away  !  [Sits  and  sketches,  up  stage. 

Olmutz.  [Approaches  Count.]  I  this  moment  called  at 
your  hotel,  and  was  desired  to  follow  you  here. 

Count.  Well,  what  news  ?  Shall  I  have  an  audience 
with  the  Prince  ? 

Olmutz.  I  have  done  what  was  in  my  power,  but  am 
sorry  to  say  the  Prince  cannot  receive  you  this  morning. 

Count.  That's  unfortunate  :  a  very  heavy  disapoint- 
ment;  have  you  any  idea  of  his  reason  ? 

Olmutz.  None. 

Count.  Is  the  Saxon  Envoy  arrived? 

Olmutz.  He  is  not,  your  excellency. 

Count.  That's  favorable ;  and  can  I  take  no  advantage 
of  it? — no  means  of  seeing  the  Prince? — does  he  receive 
nobody  ? 

Olmutz.  Nobody,  except  a  stranger,  whom  I  have  no 
knowledge  of,   and  who,  it  seems,  is  just  arrived  from 
London — one  Sir  Patrick  O'Plenipo. 
— Sir  P.  I've  got  it ;  I  think  she  squints.         [Sketching. 

Count.  Hush !  not  so  loud ;  are  you  sure  of  what  you 
say? 

Olmutz.  Positive ;  I  have  a  letter  for  him — a  letter 
from  the  Prince. 

Count.  A  letter  from  the  Prince  ? 

Olmutz.  Who  charged  me  to  deliver  it  with  all  possible 
secresy,  and  I  am  now  on  my  way  to  his  hotel. 

Count.  You  may  spare  yourself  the  trouble — there  he  is. 

Olmutz.  That  the  gentleman  ?    If  he's  your  excellency's 


20  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [Acx  I. 

friend,  your  business  is  settled  ;  he's  in  the  greatest  favor 
with  the  Prince.  I  have  no  doubt  he  can  do  anything 
with  him. 

Count.  I'm  thunderstruck !  Fulfil  your  errand,  and 
leave  us. 

Sir  P.  Now,  whether  that  be  a  gown  or  a  petticoat, 
devil  burn  me,  if  I  can  tell !     Count,  is  that  a  gown  or  a . 
petticoat  ? 

Olmutz.  [Nods  to  Count,  and  cries  "  Hem !" — approaches 
Sir  Patrick.]  I  believe  I  have  the  honor  of  addressing  Sir 
Patrick  O'Plenipo  1 

Sir  P.  At  your  service,  sir. 

Olmutz.  Here  is  a  letter  which  his  highness,  the  Prince, 
charged  me  to  deliver  you  with  all  possible  secrecy. 

[Offers  letter. 

Sir  P.  Isn't  it  a  blunder  you're  making? 

Olmutz.  Read  the  address.  *» 

Sir  P.  [Takes  it.]  'Tis  myself,  indeed. 

Olmutz.  And  I  hope  you  will  bear  witness  to  his  high- 
ness that  I've  fulfilled  his  intentions. 

[Exit,  with  much  parade. 

Sir  P.  Good-day — good-by  !  He  is  as  mysterious  as  a 
hieroglyphic;  and  as  to  his  highness,  Count,  I  know  no 
more  of  him  than  his  great  grandmother. 

Count.  Indeed  !  then  you  must  regard  his  letter  as  a 
prodigious  condescension. 

Sir  P.  Faith  I  do ;  and  as  I  perceive  you  are  onerous 
on  the  subject,  may  be  you'd  like  to  open  it  ? 

Count.  You  anticipate  the  contents. 

Sir  P.  An  invitation  to  dinner,  no  doubt ;  he  has  found 
out  our  tastes  are  congenial. 

Count.  What,  dine  with  him  on  the  day  of  arrival :  'tis 
without  precedent ! 

Sir  P.  Is  it  ]  Then  I'll  originate  it ;  and  I'll  engage 
there'll  be  plenty  of  precedents  afterwards.  Do  me  the 
favor,  Count,  to  satisfy  your  curiosity,  while  I  take  a 
finishing  touch  at  my  old  woman.  [Sketching. 

Count.  Oh,  since  you  insist  upon  it.  [Opens  the  letter 
and  reads.]  "  I  cannot  receive  Sir  Patrick  at  my  own 
apartments" 

Sir  P.  And  who  the  devil  asked  him  1 

Count.  [Reading.}  "  But  I  beg  of  him  to  meet  me  in  the 


SCENE  I.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  21 


park  at  one  o'clock,  when  I  will  escape  the  hunting 
for  the  purpose  of  obtaining  a  few  moments'  conversation  on 
a  subject  he  is  well  aware  of.  In  the  mean  time,  I  shall 
rely  on  his  discretion.11 

Sir  P.  None  of  your  fun  :  finish  it  —  fire  away. 

Count.  "  RODOLPH  !"     I  have  finished. 

Sir  P.  You  have  read  it  all  1 

Count.  Every  syllable. 

Sir  P.  And  would  you  have  the  complaisance  to 
explain  the  meaning? 

Count.  The  meaning  is  evident  :  the  Prince  has  refused 
an  audience  to  everybody  —  even  to  me,  on  earnest  solici- 
tation —  yet,  forsooth,  he  is  to  meet  you  in  private,  and 
alludes  to  the  purpose  ;  on  which,  it  appears,  there  is 
already  an  understanding  between  you. 

Sir  P.  He  has  it  all  to  himself,  then, 

Count.  And  you  insist  you  came  here  — 

Sir  P.  In  search  of  the  picturesque. 

Count.  In  search  of  a  fiddlestick  ! 

Sir  P.  Why  not,  if  it's  national  and  characteristic? 

Count.  Sir  Patrick,  this  is  passing  the  bounds  of  decorum 
and  respect  ;  but  since  you  defy  me,  sir  —  since  you  can 
thus  trifle  with  an  old  friend  —  I  tell  you,  young  sir,  that  I 
can  prevent  this  interview. 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  but  you  wouldn't  have  the  malice. 

Count.  'Tis  my  duty,  sir;  this  secret  tampering  with 
the  Grand  Duke's  nephew  is  extremely  irregular  :  out 
of  all  precedent  —  your  inexperience  only  can  excuse  it. 

Sir  P.  Keep  your  temper,  Count.  [Aside.]  As  usual, 
I'm  playing  the  very  devil  here,  without  knowing  it. 

Count.  And  see,  sir  ;  the  affair  presses,  it  seems  —  here 
comes  the  Prince  in  search  of  you. 

Enter  RODOLPH,  in  haste. 

Rodolph.  Tis  he—  'tis  Sir  Patrick!  —  The  Spanish 
Envoy  still  here  ! 

Count.  To  meet  your  highness  here  is  an  unexpected 
good  fortune. 

Rodolph.  The  good  fortune  is  on  my  part,  my  lord. 
Eh  !  surely  isn't  it  Sir  Patrick  O'Plenipo  ? 

Sir  P.  And  your  highness'  very  humble  servant. 

Count.  Your  highness  knows  Sir  Patrick  ? 


22  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [ACT  I. 

Rodolph.  Intimately  ! 

Sir  P.  [ Aside.]   The  devil  he  does ! 
Rodolph.  We  were  acquainted  in  London  ;  and  I  hope 
while  he  stays  here  he  will  consider  me  as  an  old  friend. 

Sir  P.  Oh,  you  do  me  amazing  honor.  [Aside.]  Amazing 
it  is  :  the  first  time  I  ever  saw  him  ! 

Count.  [Asidc.\  Didn't  know  him  from  his  great  grand- 
father !  This  morning  I  entreated,  through  Mr.  Olmutz, 
your  secretary — that  is,  officially,  and  according  to  estab- 
lished forms — a  moment's  audience ! 

Rodolph.  My  lord,  'twas  unnecessary  :  to  you,  I  am 
always  visible  ;  come  to-morrow — the  next  day — when- 
ever you  please — and  then  we'll  speak  of  business.  This 
day  we  devote  to  pleasure  :  to-night  we  shall  have  a  ball 
and  concert :  we  shall  see  you,  I  hope,  and  Sir  Patrick, 
too.  [  To  Sir  Patrick.]  I  think  I  recollect  you  are  a 
great  musician,  a  distinguished  violincello? 

Sir  P.  'Tis  possible;  I  never  tried! 

Rodolph.  [Aside  to  Sir  Patrick.]  Try  to  get  rid  of  him. 

Sir  P.  His  excellency] 

Rodolph.  [Nods,  then  aside.]  Handsomely  ! 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  to  be  sure.  [  To  Count.]  His  highness  re- 
spectfully requests  you'll  do  us  the  favor  to  get  out. 

Count.  Walk  out ! 

Sir  P.  That  is  to  say,  in  official  language,  retire — 
withdraw — get  out  of  this  genteely  and  quietly — put 
yourself  on  the  other  side  of  the  door  for  five  minutes  ! 

Count.  Sir  :  the  solution  of  this  conduct,  on  both  sides, 
is  by  no  means  difficult;  but  your  triumph,  be  assured,  is 
of  short  duration.  [  J.«We.]  The  Grand  Duke  shall  know 
of  it  instantly.  [Boies  to  Prince,  and  exits,  angry. 

Sir  P.  Away. 

Rodolph.  Ha !  ha !  Your  proceedings,  sir,  are  sum- 
mary, indeed;  and  now  to  business.  You  come  immedi- 
ately from  London  1 

Sir  P.  Immediately. 

Rodolph.  And  you  have  communicated  to  Lady  Emily 
the  instructions  you  are  charged  with1? 

Sir  P.  Every  syllable  of  the  matter. 

Rodolph.  I  may  commence,  then,  without  reserve.  In 
the  first  place,  here  are  two  portraits.  [Giving  them. 

Sir  P.  The  two  portraits  I  see :  Spanish  and  German  ; 


SCENE  I.] 


THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  23 


the  German  has  red  hair — your  fancy,  I  suppose — it  is  of 
no  consequence  :  that  is  a  matter  of  taste.  Two  beauties 
they  are  ! 

Rodolph.  I  resign  them  entirely ;  and  let  me  entreat 
you  to  deliver  them  immediately — into  whose  hands  I 
need  not  tell  you. 

Sir  P.  I  beg  your  highness*  pardon. 

RodolpJi.  Enough  !  Time  presses ;  the  presence  of 
Morenos  sufficiently  explains  my  situation,  and  I  rely 
with  confidence  on  your  own  address  and  discernment. 
[Distant  horns]  I  hear  the  hunters.  [Turns  aside. 

Sir  P.  What  the  devil  is  all  this  about  ]  I  can't 
understand  a  word  of  it.  f Horns  out.]  'Tis  clear  we  are 
bothered  alike. 

Rodolph.  [Returning]  One  thing  I  had  forgot. 

Sir  P.  Yes  !   [Aside.]  Now  I'll  perceive  it. 

Rodolph.  And  it  is  certainly  favorable  to  us. 

Sir  P.  That's  lucky  ! 

Rodolph.  From  what  providential  occurrence  I  cannot 
guess,  the  Saxon  Envoy  is  not  yet  arrived  :  a  circum- 
stance that  affords  us  time  and  opportunity. 

Sir  P.  True  :  and  if  it  would  only  afford  us  a  bit  of  a 
clue — you  understand  1 

Rodolph.  No,  I  don't. 

Sir  P.  Oh !  we  are  bothered  alike. 

Enter  ISABELLA. 

Isabella.  Oh !  my  dear  Sir  Patrick,  such  a  bustle ! — don't 
you  hear  it  ? 

Sir  P.  I  do. 

Isabella.  Horsemen,  and  dogs,  and  lancers,  and  the 
Grand  Duke  himself,  all  returning  from  the  chase,  and 
coming  to  refresh  themselves  at  Lady  Emily's. 

Rodolph.  We  are  ruined  ! 

Sir  P.  Old  Don  Morenos  has  certainly  informed 
against  us. 

Rodolph.  Impossible !  Did  you  then  disclose  the 
object  of  our  meeting  ] 

Sir  P.  Not  a  word  of  it,  upon  my  honor. 

Rodolpk.  Then  we  are  safe.  Your  resources  are  well 
known  to  us,  and  you  will  easily  disguise  from  the  Grand 
Duke  the  object  of  our  meeting. 


24  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [AcT  I 

Sir  P.  Make  yourself  easy;  if  the  Grand  Duke  dis 
covers  that  from  me  he'll  be  wiser  than  I  am.  [Horns.] 
Here  is  his  highness. 

Enter  GRAND  DUKE,  hading  LADY  EMILY;  tlie  COUNT 
MORENOS,  BARON  LOWENCRAFT,  HUNTSMEN  and  AT- 
TENDANTS. 

Duke.  This  impromptu  sort  of  visit,  •  Lady  Emily,  is, 
I  fear,  rating  your  complaisance  a  little  too  freely  ;  but 
the  Count  Morenos  praised  your  pa?-k  and  gardens  so 
warmly,  I  really  could  not  resist  its  allurements. 

Lady  E.  Your  highness  honors  and  obliges  me. 

Duke.  They  have  had  their  attractions  for  my  nephew, 
too,  it  seems ;  and  our  meeting  here  is  in  good  time. 
Rodolph,  let  me  present  to  you  Baron  Lowencraft,  the 
Envoy  from  Saxony,  who  is  this  instant  arrived,  and  wag 
impatient  to  pay  his  respects  to  you. 

Baron.  To  be  frank  with  your  highness,  I  had  hoped 
and  intended  to  enjoy  this  honor  much  earlier,  but  an 
unlucky  accident  happened  to  my  carriage,  and  compelled 
me  to  a  delay,  which  may  have  occasioned  some  surprise, 

Sir  P.  This  is  the  little  man  I  tumbled  into  the  mud. 

Rodolph.  And  how  did  it  happen,  sir? 

Baron.  To  be  candid  with  your  highness,  I  haven't  the 
least  idea.  The  road  was  excellent :  and  to  tell  you  the 
honest  truth,  I  suspect  it  was  done  intentionally  :  a  crazy, 
unceremonious  sort  of  a  gentleman,  in  a  little  stout  English 
cabriolet,  and  speaking  in  a  wild,  outlandish  accent,  with 
a  grave  smirk  upon  his  face,  which  I  shall  not  easily 
forget.  [Noticing  Sir  Patrick,  ivho  appears  much  amused.] 
Eh  !  why  surely  here  he  is  !  here  is  the  very  gentleman  ! 

Sir  P.  Is  it  there  you  are  ]  Sir,  I  have  to  beg  ten 
thousand  pardons,  and  I  should  have  staid  to  assist  you, 
as  in  duty  bound,  but  as  I  observed  I  had  done  you  no 
serious  mischief,  and  having  a  business  on  hand  that 
admitted  of  no  delay — 

Lady  E.  and  Rodolph.  Sir  Patrick  ! 

Count.  [Aside]  I  guessed  as  much. 

Baron.  Enough  !   'twas  an  accident. 

Sir  P.  Ton  my  honor,  only  an  accident. 

Baron.  'Twas  an  accident,  and  there's  an  end  of  it. 
From  the  Court  of  London,  I  presume  ? 


SCENE  L]  THE  IRISH   AMBASSADOR.  25 

Sir  P.  Prom  the  court-end,  if  you  please. 

Rodolph.  [Aside  to  him.}  Excellent ! 

Lady  E.  [ Aside.]  Intrepid  creature  ! 

Count.  [Aside.]  A  bold  step,  indeed ;  catching  a  grace 
beyond  the  reach  of  art.  [To  Grand  Duke.]  I  trust  your 
highness  is  satisfied  ? 

Duke.  [Nods  to  him,  and  addresses  Sir  Patrick.]  Excuse 
me,  sir ;  but  pray,  how  does  it  happen  that  a  British  Envoy 
should  be  in  my  presence  without  having  introduced 
himself? 

Sir  P.  Please  your  highness,  my  presence  at  court 
has  always  been  most  unfortunate,  and  my  business  on 
this  occasion  entitled  me  to  no  such  honor — as  the  Count 
Morenos  can  answer  for  me. 

Count.  Certainly.  Oh  !  dear  me,  he  merely  comes 
about  the  decorations  of  a  fancy  ball  ! 

Duke.  A  fancy  ball ! 

Sir  P.  Nothing  else  in  life. 

Count.  To  settle  the  trimmings  of  a  doublet  ? 

Sir  P.  Brocades  and  flounces,  gores,  gussetts,  and 
shoulder  straps. 

Duke.  A  singular  mission,  truly  ! 

Count.  This  assurance  is  incalculable  ! 

Duke.  [Aside  to  Count.]  The  truth  must  be  detected. 
[  To  Sir  Patrick.]  We  have  a  ball  to-night,  sir,  and  shall 
be  happy  to  see  you. 

Sir  P.  Most  proud  of  the  honor,  though  it  has  already 
been  done  me  by  his  highness  the  Prince. 

Count.  \Aside  to  Grand  Duke.]  You  hear,  sir. 

Duke.  So  much  the  better.  Come  then,  my  friends, 
the  day  is  still  fresh,  and  we'll  return  to  our  sports. 

[Horns  sounded;  Exeunt  all  through  centre,  except 
Sir  Patrick,  who  takes  Isabella  from  under  Count's 
arm,  and  exits. 

END  OF  ACT  I. 


26  THE   IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [AcT  II 


ACT    II. 

SCENE  I. — A  saloon  in  the  Palace  ;  Ball  Room  ;  Music 
of  Quadrille. 

Enter  COUNT  MORENOS  and  ISABELLA. 

Count.  This  way,  my  child. 

.  Isabella.  Oh  !  papa,  don't  detain  me ;  such  a  beautiful 
ball :  I  can't  bear  to  leave  it ;  pray  let  me  go  back  ! 

Count.  I  tell  you  no  !  I  must  consider. 

Isabella.  What  a  room  for  an  English  country  dance  ; 
and  how  I  long  for  a  real,  downright  German  waltz  ! 
Indeed,  papa,  I'm  losing  all  my  time. 

Count.  [In  reverie.]  This  Sir  Patrick  is  an  unaccounta- 
ble fellow ;  he  has  now  ingratiated  himself  with  the  Grand 
Duke,  as  with  the  Prince.  Have  I  been  deceived  in 
him  ?  Is  he  become  such  a  master  of  our  art  ]  His  cool- 
ness surprises  me  ;  and  what  is  still  more  difficult  in  our 
practice,  he  has  a  confounded  hypocritical  gayety  of  his 
own,  that  beats  us  all  hollow.  On  our  return  home  there 
was  he  amusing  the  Grand  Duke  with  a  parcel  of  Irish 
stories.  He  even  made  an  extempore  epigram  on  the 
Lord  Chamberlain,  which,  /  thought,  must  have  settled 
his  business.  Quite  the  contrary  :  his  highness  laughed 
like  a  lunatic.  [Music. 

Isabella.  [Looking  out.]  Pa,  pa,  pa !  the  waltz  is  be- 
ginning. 

Count.  Patience,  girl;  the  Prince  isn't  come. 

Isabella.  What  of  that]  I  am  engaged  the  very  first 
waltz. 

Count.  What,  engaged  yourself;  and  to  whom  ? 

Isabella.  La !  papa,  you  know  to  whom. 

Count.  You  have  done  very  wrong  in  a  matter  of  such 
importance;  you  have  acted  rashly.  To  Sir  Patrick,  I 
suppose  ? 

Isabella.  To  be  sure,  papa ! 


SCENE  I.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  27 

Count.  The  fellow's  impudence  is  past  bearing.  I 
forbid  you  to  dance  with  him. 

Isabella.  But  I  have  promised  him  :  I  must  declare  off, 
then. 

Count.  Declare  !  No — declare  nothing  ! 

Isabella.  I  may  have  a  dance  with  him,  then  ] 

Count.  By  no  means — no  !  My  decision  will  depend 
on  the  production  of  a  certain  weighty  document.  1 
must  find  the  chamberlain,  for  the  purpose  of  learning 
how  Sir  Patrick  has  passed  his  time  in  the  palace ;  and 
whether  you  are  not  to  dance  with  him,  or  whether  you 
are,  requires  a  deal  of  pice  consideration. 

[Music — exit  pompously. 

Isabella.  [Looking  out.]  There  now  ;  and  there's  Sir 
Patrick  looking  out  for  me.  Oh  !  dear,  he  comes  !  Now 
then  to  give  him  a  thorough  diplomatic  reception.  [Music. 

Enter  SIR  PATRICK. 

Sir  P.  What,  my  little  colleague,  is  this  the  way  you 
serve  me  1  Are  you  giving  me  the  slip  1  Have  you 
forgot  your  promise  ? 

Isabella.  Promise  !     What  promise  1 

Sir  P.  The  promise  to  dance  with  me ;  don't  you 
remember  1 

Isabella.  By  no  means ;  I  acknowledge  no  engagement 
whatever ;  there  was  nothing  signed  between  us,  and  the 
ratification  of  the  treaty  depends  upon  the  production  of 
a  certain  weighty  document. 

Sir  P.  Upon  what  1 

Isabella.  A  document !  I  must  see  the  chamberlain  to 
know  how  you  have  passed  your  time  at  the  palace,  and 
whether  I  am  to  dance  with  you,  or  whether  1  am  not, 
depends  upon  a  deal  of  nice  consideration  !  \Retires  up. 

Sir  P.  A  mighty  accomplished  petticoat  politician ; 
but  whether  she's  in  for  foreign  affairs,  or  for  my  home 
department,  or  what  may  be  the  nature  of  the  document 
in  question,  are  points  for  a  future  Congress,  and  to  me 
the  most  interesting  of  all  my  complicated  trans  actions  ! 

[  Turns  about. 

Re-enter  COUNT. 
Count.  Where  is  the  chamberlain  ? 


28  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [AcT  II 

Sir  P.  How  the  devil  do  I  know  ? 

Count.  You  here,  Sir  Patrick !  Which  way  did  you 
enter  ? 

Sir  P.  Which  way  ?  Why,  from  the  dinner  table,  to 
be  sure  ;  the  door  is  wide  enough. 

Count.  The  dinner  table  of  whom  ? 

Sir  P.  Of  his  highness,  to  be  sure.  Do  you  think  I 
dine  with  lackeys  ? 

Count.  What,  a  public  dinner  ? 

Sir  P.  Public — public !  What,  and  I  there  without 
you  !  No,  sir  ;  the  Grand  Duke  knows  his  station  better ; 
pot-luck,  sir,  nothing  in  the  world  else.  Riding  home 
with  the  Grand  Duke,  and  happening  to  venture  a  joke 
or  two  upon  German  cooking,  he  insisted  upon  curing 
me  of  my  prejudices  immediately. 

Count.  [Distressingly.]   That  was  his  object  I 

Sir  P.  And  the  pleasure  of  my  company.  He  saw  I 
didn't  stand  upon  any  ceremony,  and  a  most  pleasing 
little  party  we  had ;  and  then  such  interesting  conversa- 
tion— 

Count.  With  the  Prince  ? 

Sir  P.  With  the  prince  and  the  ladies :  chiefly  on  the 
subject  of  my  mission. 

Count.  [Significantly.]  I  understand  ! 

Sir  P.  The  picturesque  and  beautiful. 

Count.  [Aside.]  Again ! 

Sir  P.  These  matters,  no  doubt,  are  beneath  you ; 
but  for  the  ladies,  you  know — 

Count.  Hark  ye,  Sir  Patrick ;  I  own  I  never  gave  you 
credit  for  half  the  address  and  ability  you  have  displayed 
this  day ;  but  my  prejudice  is  now  at  an  end,  and  to 
convince  you  of  it,  confide  to  me  frankly  the  true  motives 
of  your  mission  !  do  this,  and  my  daughter  is  your's. 

[  Isabella  comes  down. 
*     Sir  P.  What,  my  dear  little  Donna] 

Isabella.  Impossible !  Oh !  Sir  Patrick,  what  good 
news — what  generosity — and  you  don't  fall  on  your 
knees ! 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  yes,  I  was  just  about  it ;  only  you  see— 

Count.  You  hesitate. 

Sir  P.  Hesitate  !  Not  at  all ;  only  pause  for  a  moment. 
Such  an  unexpected  happiness,  and  on  such  unexpected 


SCENE  II.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  29 

conditions,  in  my  particular  circumstances,  you  must  feel, 
Count,  that  whether  I  can  accept  of  it,  or  whether  I  can- 
not, requires  a  deal  of  nice  consideration. 

Isabella.  [Angrily.]  Consideration  ! 

Count.  Undoubtedly !  [  To  Sir  Patrick.]  Think  for  a 
moment.  f  Leads  Isabella  up  the  stage. 

Sir  P.  Think  !  think  !  It  is  easy  to  say  think,  but  what 
am  I  to  think  about  ?  What  will  I  do  now  1  What 
information  can  I  give  him,  unless  it  is  a  twentieth  edition, 
of  the  picturesque  and  the  beautiful  ]  All  the  secret  I 
have  is  that  I  have  no  secret  at  all ;  but  am  as  great  a 
blockhead  as  ever ;  he  has  become  so  superanuated,  he 
won't  believe  me  :  and  if  he  did,  out  breaks  the  politician 
again,  and  he  will  despise  me,  and  cheat  me  of  my  little 
Donna.  Safe's  the  word,  then;  and  since  I'll  get  nothing 
in  exchange,  I  will  preserve  my  honor  and  swagger 
through  it. 

Count.  [Coming  down.]  Well,  Sir  Patrick,  the  lady  is 
impatient — are  you  decided  ? 

Sir  P.  [With  affected  dignity.]  I  am,  Count;  but 
situated  as  I  am — I  may  say  circumstanced,  you  will 
forgive  me — but  placed  as  I  am  between  love  and  duty, 
the  struggle  has  been  most  critical — I  may  say  most 
tremenduous — but  that  good  opinion  with  which  I  have 
inspired  your  excellency,  and  which  fills  me  with  a  pride 
certainly  unfelt  before — the-  character,  the  merit,  you  are 
pleased  to  ascribe  to  me — all  this  and  much  more,  I  say, 
your  excellency,  all  this  I  never  will  forfeit;  private 
feeling  must  yield  to  public  duty ;  and  to  preserve  your 
esteem  and  my  own,  to  my  sensibilities,  and  feeling  a 
reciprocity  of  sentiment  that — damn  the  word  more  can  I 
say  on  the  subject.  [  Turns  up. 

Isabella.  I'm  thunderstruck ! 

Count.  [Aside.]  He  soars  above  us  all !  [Aloud.]  Refuse 
my  daughter  —  revolt  against  my  friendship !  But  I 
will  make  a  friend  of  him  yet !  I'll  to  the  Secretary,  and 
devise  some  covert  attack  !  He'll  be  a  great  character  ! 

[Exit. 

Isabella.  He's  an  ungrateful  blockhead. 

Sir  P.  Don't  be  angry,  my  charmer :  behold  me  at 
your  feet. 

Isabella.  You  may  rise ;  it  is  to  no  purpose. 


30  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [ACT  IJL 

Sir  P.  Don't  condemn  me  without  a  hearing. 

Isabella.  I  have  heard  you,  sir !  What,  when  our 
happiness  depends  upon  you,  and  you  refused  me  ! 

Sir  P.  Upon  my  honor,  then,  in  my  place  you  would 
have  done  the  same,  and  a  great  deal  more.  To  you 
my  heart  is  open  :  and  now  I'll  just  tell  you  why  I  didn't 
communicate  the  secret — but  you'll  not  betray  me? 

Isabella.  Oh,  certainly  not ! 

Sir  P.  Why,  then,  come  here  and  look  me  in  the  face. 
[Pause.]  The  devil  a  secret  I  have  to  communicate ! 
Now,  you'll  not  tell  any  one  ] 

Isabella.  For  shame  !  trying  your  Jesuitical  nonsense 
upon  me,  too* — you  that  used  to  be  honesty  itself;  but  I 
foresaw  it. 

Sir  P.  I  am  as  honest  as  ever  I  was,  and  nothing  to 
boast  of  either.  'Tis  your  beauty  that  has  caught  the 
infection  ;  and  I  have  discovered  that  in  a  great  political 
family,  the  only  way  of  disguising  the  truth  is  to  tell  it. 
Here  I  am  in  the  thick  of  some  great  discussion,  like  a 
blundering  parenthesis,  or  a  comma  misplaced,  making 
nothing  but  cross-readings  and  confusion  ;  but  don't,  now, 
like  a  little  despot  as  you  are,  insist  upon  my  using  my 
tongue  in  spite  of  my  teeth — at  all,  at  all ! 

Isabella.  It's  mighty  well — but  haven't  you  had  a 
secret  interview  with  the  Prince  1  And  what  was  it 
about ] 

Sir  P.  I'd  be  very  glad  to  know  that  myself.  His 
highness  paid  me  a  compliment  or  two  upon  my  arrival, 
and  immediately  handed  me  a  couple  of  portraits — very 
elegant. 

Isabella.  A  couple  of  portraits  f 

Sir  P.  Here  they  are.  [Gives  them.]  Look  at  them,  and 
then  you'll  know  as  much  of  them  as  I  do. 

Isabella.  Richly  set  in  diamonds ;  and,  as  I  live,  one  of 
them  the  Saxon  Princess  I  met  at  Geneva,  and  the  other 
the  cousin  of  our  king  of  Spain  ! 

Sir  P.  There  it  is  now ;  you  see,  my  chariner,  the 
secret  is  all  on  your  side. 

Isabella.  And  why  were  they  given  to  you  ? 

Sir  P.  May  be  you  can  tell  me  that  also :  for  'tis  more 
than  his  highness  could.  Here  are  a  couple  of  portraits, 
says  he — are  they,  says  I — let  me  entreat  you,  sir,  said  he, 


SCENE  L]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  31 

to  deliver  them,  into  whose  hands  I  needn't  tell  you — 
and  he  didn't;  but  you  threw  a  light  at  once  upon  the 
whole  business — they  are  presents  to  the  two  ambassa- 
dors. 

Isabella.  Well,  I  dare  say. 

Sir  P.  That  I  shouldn't  have  hit  upon  it  before  now 
— and  faith,  a  very  handsome  compliment ;  your  father, 
no  doubt,  will  be  flattered  with  it.  Och  !  it  will  set  us  all 
right  again.  Take  it,  my  charmer — take  him  the  Spanish 
lady,  and  tell  him  'tis  myself  that  sent  it,  with  the  Prince's 
compliments. 

Isabella.  That  I  will;  and  you  promise  me  this — that 
it  is  nothing  but  a  little  commission  extempore,  and  that 
you  never  will  be  a  great  politician  ? 

Sir  P.  I  can  refuse  you  nothing. 

Isabella.  I  am  satisfied  ;  and  when  I  come  back,  I  will 
dance  with  you  in  spite  of  the  whole  Cabinet  Council,  or 
a  Royal  Proclamation  !  [Exit. 

Sir  P.  Daylight  comes  at  last ;  and,  apropos,  here 
comes  the  Saxon  ;  for  fear  of  blundering,  hadn't  I  better 
wait  my  cue  1  It's  that  I'll  do. 

Enter  BARON  LOWENCRAFT. 

Baron.  [Aside.]  Here  he  is ;  now  to  give  him  an 
opportunity.  Good  evening,  Sir  Patrick.  [Sir  Patrick 
bows.]  Perhaps  I  may  not  come  unseasonably  ?  [Bowing. 

Sir  P.  By  no  means.  [A  short  pause, 

Baron.  [Aside.]  He's  silent,  a  sign  he  has  a  great  deal  to 
say.  [Pause  of  mutual  silence ;  inquiring  looks ;  Baron 
motions  to  sit  down.  Sir  Patrick  assents,  and  they  take 
seats  ;  silence  after  being  seated,  till  Baron  becomes  impa- 
tient.] I  fear  your  journey  has  fatigued  you? 

Sir  P.  Not  at  all ;  I  hope  you  have  recovered  from 
your  roll  in  the  mud  ? 

Baron.  Perfectly.  [Pause  again.]  I — a — ah — oh — 

Sir  P.  You  were  speaking,  sir. 

Baron.  I  have  just  seen  the  Count  Morenos. 

Sir  P.  Have  you  though  1  I  hope  you  found  him  in  a 
good  humor. 

Baron.  To  say  the  truth,  sir,  by  no  means  in  a  good 
humor  with  you;  from  which  I  judge  that  you  and  I 
might  probably  make  some  approaches.  • 


32  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [ACT  IL 

Sir  P.  [Draws  nearer.]  By  all  means ;  I  hope,  sir,  we 
shall  be  intimate — have  some  pleasant  days  together. 

Baron.  [Aside.]  A  good  sign.  Then,  Sir  Patrick,  to 
be  honest  with  you — 

Sir  P.  If  you  please. 

Baron.  As  to  our  own  success,  we  are  comparatively 
indifferent,  but  that  the  Spaniard  should  carry  it — 

Sir  P.  The  Spaniard  ! 

Baron.  That  would  be  humiliating  to  both  of  us ; 
therefore,  if  we  could  only  understand  each  other  it 
would  be  a  great  advantage. 

Sir  P.  On  my  side,  certainly ;  I've  understood  nothing 
yet. 

Baron.  As  we  narrow  the  competition,  in  the  first 
place,  then,  what  is  the  Prince's  opinion,  and  what  is 
your's  ? — that  is  all  I  ask. 

Sir  P.  Well,  upon  my  honor,  that's  not  much.  Why, 
then,  to  be  candid  with  you,  it  would  be  no  easy  matter 
for  me  to  give  an  opinion  on  the  subject;  and  with 
regard  to  the  sentiments  of  the  Prince,  here  is  a  little 
present  which  will  no  doubt  explain  them,  and  which  I 
take  it  to  be  my  business  to  present  to  your  excellency. 

[Gives  portrait. 

Baron.  What !  the  portrait  of  the  Princess  returned 
by  you,  from  Prince  Rodolph  ] 

Sir  P.  From  his  highness  himself,  with  his  kind  com- 
pliments. 

Baron.  This  is  decisive  ! 

Sir  P.  It  is  all  settled. 

Baron.  [  With  emphasis.]  Sir,  the  indecorum  of  such 
conduct  is  as  unbecoming  your  character,  as  that  of  the 
Prince ! 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  the  devil  pursues  me  still. 

Baron.  The  Grand  Duke,  the  whole  court,  shall  know 
of  what  you  have  done.  [Going. 

Sir  P.  My  lord,  as  you  are  going  to  tell  the  whole 
court,  may  be  you'd  be  so  good  as  to  begin  with  me, 
if  you  please  ? 

Baron.  I'm  made  at  once  your  dupe  and  laughing- 
stock; 'tis  a  national  insult.  Spain  shall  make  common 
cause  with  Saxony,  and  the  Court  of  St.  James  shall 
make  us  mutual  satisfaction. 


SCENE  I.]  THE  IRISH  AMBASSADOR.  33 

Sir  P.  Why,  then,  if  you  go  to  that,  sir,  the  Court 
of  St.  James  is  not  to  be  intimidated  either  by  Spain  or 
Saxony. 

[Both  put  on  their  hats  together,  and  face  each  other— 
pausing. 

Baron.  Sir,  you  have  exceeded  your  credentials. 

Sir  P.  You  may  say  that,  sir ! 

Baron.  And  you  will  find  you  have  compromised  both 
yourself  and  your  country.  [Exit. 

Sir  P.  Good-by,  sir — go  to  the  devil,  sir ! — My  old 
character  will  stick  to  me  through  thick  and  thin ;  and 
here  is  the  third  continental  war  1  have  been  on  the  point 
of  provoking,  in  my  diplomatic  situation.  To  the  best 
of  my  discernment,  I  have  brought  my  unfortunate  friend, 
the  Prince,  into  as  great  a  scrape  as  myself,  and  stand  by 
him  I  will — partly  to  behave  like  a  gentleman,  and  partly 
because  I  begin  to  have  a  mighty  longing  to  know  the 
rights  of  the  business. 

Enter  RODOLPH  and  LADY  EMILY. 

Rodolph.  We  are  lost — undone !  A  measure  so  ab- 
rupt, so  unwarranted — oh,  is  it  possible  ?  Are  you  here, 
sir — do  you  know  the  danger  that  surrounds  us  7 

Sir  P.  'Tis  for  that  I  remain,  your  highness. 

Lady  E.  Such  conduct,  sir,  is  noble,  and  only  what  I 
expected ;  in  you,  I  am  sure  we  shall  have  a  friend  to  the 
last. 

Rodolph.  A  friend!  when  I  was  on  the  point  of  telling 
you  that  the  storm,  now  ready  to  burst  upon  us,  is  of  his 
raising,  and  that  coming  unaccredited,  as  he  does,  it  will 
be  well  if  he  escapes  a  dungeon  ! 

Sir  P.  Och,  the  powers  ! 

Lady  E.  What  has  he  done  1 

Rodolph.  Without  authority — without  advice !  You 
know  our  great  hope  was  to  gain  time  by  temporising 
with  the  Envoys  of  Spain  and  Saxony  1 

Lady  E.  Certainly. 

Rodolph.  Would  you  believe  it,  he  haa  dismissed  them 
both,  without  the  slightest  ceremony ! 

Lady  E.  Is  it  possible  ? 

Rodolph.  Of  course,  they  are  furious. 


34  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [AcT  II 

Lady  E.  [  With  firmness.]  Upon  consideration,  he  was 
quite  in  the  right. 

Sir  P.  I  was  !  blessings  on  your  sex ;  the  petticoats 
never  desert  me  ! 

Lady  E.  'Twas  the  only  thing  left  for  us ;  it  must 
have  happened  sooner  or  later,  and  why  stand  shilly- 
shally ? 

Sir  P.  That's  the  politics  after  my  own  heart. 

Lady  E.  How  did  he  venture  to  make  you  a  party  in 
such  a  step  ? 

Rodolph.  'Twas  in  spite  of  myself,  and  without  ever 
apprising  me.  You  know  the  portraits  I  promised  to 
send  you  1 

Sir  P.  \Aside.]  To  send  her  ladyship  ! 

Lady  E.  They  were  of  the  rival  Princesses  1 

Rodolph.  They  were ;  and  he  has  returned  them  in 
my  name,  to  their  respective!  ambassadors. 

Lady  E.  I  understand  perfectly. 

Sir  P.  [Aside.]  You're  mighty  lucky  ! 

Lady  E.  Oh!  sir,  how  greatly  I  am  obliged  to  you. 

Sir  P.  Indeed,  you  are  not,  madam ;  much  less  than 
your  ladyship  imagines. 

Rodolpk.  'Tis  certain  you  have  placed  us  in  a  strange 
dilemma.  What  is  to  be  our  conduct  to  the  Grand  Duke 
— is  the  truth  to  be  disclosed  at  once  ? 

Sir  P.  By  all  means,  I  vote  for  that :  tell  the  truth — tell 
the  truth  ! 

Lady  E.  'Tis  a  critical  proceeding. 

Sir  P.  No  matter;  an  eclaircissement  at  all  hazards; 
my  first  and  last  word  is  an  eclaircissement. 

Rodolph.  Be  it  so,  then  ;  we  must  confess  all,  and  throw 
ourselves  upon  his  august  clemency. 

Sir  P.  Ay,  upon  his  august  clemency. 

Rodolpk.  And  since  that  is  your  advice,  do  you,  my 
friend,  take  upon  yourself — 

Sir  P.  Me  ? 

Lady  E.  Oh,  yes,  Sir  Patrick,  you  must,  indeed. 

Sir  P.  I  beg  your  pardon,  but  you  see  I  have  done  a 
great  deal  in  the  business  already. 

Rodolpk.  You  certainly  have. 

Lady  E.  And  could  you  now  desert  us  ? 

Sir  P.  Never ! 


SCENE  I.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  35 

Rodolph.  To  you  falls,  of  course,  the  task — having  gone 
so  far,  there  can  be  no  reason  why  you  should  n't  proceed. 

Sir  P.  There  you  are  right — no  reason  on  earth — and, 
if  you  insist  on  it,  will  you  just  give  me  a  hint  1 

Rodolph  Sf  Lady  E.  Certainly,  certainly  ! 

[  They  retire  up,  but  attend  to  what  is  passing. 

Enter  ISABELLA. 

Isabella.  So,  sir,  I  came  to  look  for  you ;  pretty  business 
you  have  been  about,  you  keep  your  promise  finely ! 

Sir  P.  Is  the  ball  begun  ]     I'm  ready, 

Isabella.  Yes,  sir,  but  I  am  not ! — Ball,  indeed ;  pretty 
time  to  talk  of  that !  I've  just  come  from  my  father. 

Sir  P.  Oh !  I  guess  Saxony  and  he  are  fuming  like  a 
brace  of  bulls  ! 

Isabella.  Fuming ! — no,  sir — he  ought  to  be  ! — but  quite 
the  contrary ;  he's  cool  arid  reconciled.  "  Child,"  says 
he,  "  Sir  Patrick  has  defeated  me,  and  in  so  masterly  a 
manner,  I  could  not  have  believed  it ;  but  I  must  do  him 
justice  ;  and  I  not  only  forgive  him,  but  look  upon  him  as 
altogether  worthy  to  be  my  son-in-law." 

Sir  P.  Beautiful !     Oh,  virtue  is  its  own  reward  ! 

Isabella.  "  That  is,"  says  my  father,  "  provided  he  takes 
care  that  Saxony  has  no  advantage." 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  there  are  witnesses  that  I  have  taken  care 
of  that  already  !  and  let  me  now  secure  the  prize. 

[Goes  to  take  her  hand. 

Isabella.  [  Withdrawing.}  I  beg  your  pardon,  this  may 
be  very  well  for  my  father — but  where  is  your  engage- 
ment to  me,  sir  ]  You  have  been  the  main  spring  of  a 
great  intrigue,  it  seems  ;  and  proved  yourself  a  negotiator 
of  the  most  determined  talents. 

Sir  P.  For  the  first  time,  as  I  hope  for  mercy. 

Lady  E.  Forgive  him  this  once,  and  I'll  engage  he'll 
never  offend  again. 

Sir  P.  That  you  may  safely  answer  for. 

Isabella.  Would  you  believe  it,  madam,  my  father 
offered  him  my  hand  on  condition  of  his  disclosing  the  real 
secret  of  his  business  here,  and  he  refused  it ! 

Lady  E.  Is  it  possible  1     Such  heroic  devotion  f 

Rodolph.  Generous,  indeed  ! 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  you  make  me  blush.    'Twas  a  matter  of 


36  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [AcT  II. 

duty— I  may  say,  of  necessity — but  situated  as  I  am — I 
may  say,  circumstanced — the  struggle  was  tremendous ! 

Lady  E.  And  for  my  sake,  you  must  forgive  him  ? 

Rodolph.  For  both  our  sakes  ! 

Isabella.  Well,  if  I  must — but  you'll  look  after  Saxony  ? 

Sir  P.  He's  packing  up  his  linen  at  this  moment,  and 
will  be  packing  off  in  his  post  curricle.  Come  along,  my 
little  Donna.  [Music. 

Enter  GRAND  DUKE. 

Duke.  One  moment,  Sir  Patrick  ;  I  am  sorry  to  inter- 
rupt either  business  or  pleasure,  but  for  the  present,  the 
ladies  must  excuse  you — you  and  I  must  have  a  word  or 
two.  [To  Rodolph.]  I  must  beg  your  highness  to  wait  for 
me  in  my  cabinet. 

Lady  E.  [Aside  to  Sir  Patrick.]  This  is  the  crisis ;  now 
for  one  bold  effort !  [Exit  with  Isabella. 

Rodolph.  [Also  aside.}  I  leave  you  with  my  last  hope. 

[Exit. 

Sir  P.  Mighty  convenient  and  genteel ! 

f  The  Grand  Duke  walks  about  in  great  disquiet. 

Duke.  Within,  there  ! 

[An  Officer  enters,  to  whom  he  speaks  aside. 

Sir  P.  That's  the  captain  of  the  guard ;  matters  begin 
to  grow  serious  ;  and  here  I  am,  with  everybody's  sins  on 
my  shoulders,  and  no  friend  but  my  natural  born  genius! 
Is  it  a  conspiracy  ?  If  they  had  dropped  me  but  a  hint 
— sure  and  they  did — that  is  the  business — 

[Recollecting. —  The  Duke   dismisses  the   Guard  and 
seats  himself. 

Duke.  Approach,  Sir  Patrick.  [He  obeys.]  It  is  high 
time  that  I  knew  something  of  your  intentions.  You 
came,  it  seems,  without  any  ostensible  mission  ;  yet,  since 
your  arrival  this  morning,  you  are  the  universal  topic,  and 
I  hear  of  nothing  but  you,  and  you  have  thrown  the  whole 
court  into  confusion. 

Sir  P.  Then,  upon  my  honor,  your  highness,  the  whole 
court  has  returned  the  compliment. 

Duke.  Yes,  sir,  the  Saxon  Envoy,  the  Spanish  Envoy, 
both  are  loud  in  their  complaints  against  you— I  myself 
am  startled  and  astonished  at  the  influence  you  have 
obtained  with  my  neohew. 


SCENE  I.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  37 

Sir  P.  Not  more  than  I  am,  take  my  word  for  it. 

Duke.  Your  success  in  that  quarter  has  exceeded  your 
hopes :  but  I  expect  from  you,  without  further  delay,  a 
specific  explanation. 

Sir  P.  What  do  you  say  ? 

Duke.  A  specific  explanation. 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  why,  then,  in  two  words,  we  confess. 

Duke.  You  confess ! 

Sir  P.  We  confess  all,  and  throw  ourselves  upon  your 
august  clemency. 

Duke.  But  what  do  you  confess  ! 

Sir  P.  That's  a  puzzler  ! 

Duke.  That  is  precisely  what  I  wish  to  know. 

Sir  P.  And  that  is  most  unlucky ;  for,  with  the  best 
intentions  imaginable,  'tis  precisely  what  I  find  it  im- 
possible to  inform  your  highness. 

Duke.  Beware,  sir !  you  appear  to  be  on  the  very  verge 
of  contumely. 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  by  my  honor,  to  be  wanting  in  respect  to  a 
potentate  that  gives  such  dinners  and  wines  as  your  high- 
ness, is  not  the  character  of  an  Irish  privy  counsellor. 

Duke.  Must  I  come  to  the  point,  then  ? 

Sir  P.  If  you  please,  and  you'll  oblige  me. 

Duke.  As  England  has  been  so  busy  in  frustrating  the 
views  of  Spain  and  Saxony,  I  insist  on  being  explicitly 
informed  whether  she  has  any  distant  views  of  her  own. 

Sir  P.  Then,  explicitly,  none,  and  please  your  highness, 
that  I  am  intrusted  with. 

Duke.  You  surprise  me  more  and  more  ! 

Sir  P.  [Aside.]  I  am  getting  deeper  in  the  mire. 

Duke.  And  are  you,  sir — [Rises.] — to  come  into  my 
estates  with  your  specious  machinations — bring  disorder 
into  my  family — and  embroil  me  with  two  powerful  king- 
doms I  desire  to  remain  in  friendship  with — having  only 
some  indirect  and  subordinate  object  of  your  own  ! 

Sir  P.  [Aside.]  Oh  !  furies  ! 

Duke.  But  things  must  not  remain  in  this  state.  The 
only  means  of  reconciling  Spain  and  Saxony  to  our  abrupt 
rejection  of  their  overtures,  is  an  immediate  selection — 
and  he  must  abide  by  it.  So  it  be  a  lady  of  rank  and 
birth,  under  the  circumstances,  I  shall  be  satisfied.  This 
I  commit  to  that  skill  and  influence  you  have  already 


38  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [AcT  II. 

evinced ;  the  mischief  you  have  done  you  must  repair, 
and,  as  you  have  not  chosen  to  be  recognized  in  an  official 
character,  you  will  not  be  surprised  if  your  person  be 
made  the  security  for  its  accomplishment.  [Exit. 

Sir  P.  Your  humble  servant !  So,  by  the  way  of  a 
wind-up  to  all  my  extraordinary  diplomatic  feats,  here  1 
am  a  prisoner  of  state,  and  the  only  way  of  keeping  my 
neck  out  of  a  noose,  is  by  .getting  the  Prince  into  one. 
It  grows  mighty  serious,  for  his  highness  appears  to  be  a 
very  sensible  young  man,  and  may  not  be  at  all  disposed 
to  accommodate  us. 

Enter  LADY  EMILY. 

Lady  E.  Well,  Sir  Patrick,  what  is  your  news  ? 

Sir  P.  Beautiful,  my  lady,  beautiful — that  is,  if  his 
highness  is  a  man  of  taste,  and  of  a  domestic  turn — if 
not,  I  don't  know  what  may  be  your  ladyship's  position, 
but  my  affair  is  settled. 

Lady  E.  To  the  point,  my  dear  Sir  Patrick  :  what  is 
the  Grand  Duke's  impression  of  our  conduct  ? 

Sir  P.  Why,  in  the  first  place,  mine  has  been  exceed- 
ingly irregular. 

Lady  E.  Oh,  that,  of  course  ! 

Sir  P.  Yes,  that  seems  a  settled  point !  And  in  the 
next  place,  to  satisfy  both  Spain  and  Saxony,  to  prevent  a 
scene  of  bloodshed  and  desolation,  and  preserve  the  tran- 
quillity of  Europe,  the  Prince  is  immediately  to  make  a 
choice. 

Lady  E.  To  make  a  choice  1 

Sir  P.  To  prevent  blunders,  I'll  quote  his  own  words 
— instantly  to  make  a  choice  and  abide  by  it. 

Lady  E.  My  dear  Sir  Patrick  ! 

Sir  P.  So  it  be  a  lady  of  birth  and  rank,  under  the  cir- 
cumstances, says  he,  I  shall  be  satisfied. 

La dy  E.  Oh,  heavens !  is  it  possible  you  have  brought 
him  to  that  ? 

Sir  P.  Without  the  slightest  difficulty.  You  have  played 
the  devil,  said  he,  speaking  to  me,  and  must  repair  the 
injury  you  have  done ;  to  your  amazing  abilities  I  com- 
mit the  whole  affair— intimating  I'd  be  in  a  pretty  scrape 
if  I  made  a  botch  of  it. 

Lady  E.  A  scrape  !  oh,  you  dear,  clever,  accomplished 


SCENE  I.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  39 

creature :  well  might  the  Princess  eulogise  your  extraor- 
dinary talents ! 

Sir  Pi  The  Princess,  too !  My  name  is  up — which 
would  do  mighty  well,  if  my  neck  was  not  in  jeopardy. 

Lady  E.  Don't  be  uneasy,  Sir  Patrick ;  you  have  done 
quite  enough,  the  rest  I  take  upon  myself. 

Sir  P.  You  will  ? 

Lady  E.  I'll  fly  to  the  Grand  Duke — behold  me,  sir, 
I  will  exclaim,  ready  to  sacrifice  myself  to  the  safety  of 
your  country ! 

Sir  P.  Oh,  magnanimous  ! 

Lady  E.  To  appease  Spain  and  Saxony — to  save  the 
Prince  all  unnecessary  trouble — to  rescue  my  friend  Sir 
Patrick,  from  an  untimely  end — 

Sir  P.  Me,  I  could  not  suffer  it. 

Lady  E.  Behold  me  ready  to  immolate  myself.  [Stops 
suddenly.]  My  heart  fails  me. 

Sir  P.  Oh,  the  devil !  Courage,  my  dear  lady. 

Lady  E.  But,  no  !  I  won't  shrink. 

Sir  P.  I  wouldn't. 

Lady  E.  After  what  he  has  said,  he  can't  repulse  me. 

Sir  P.  He  can't. 

Lady  E.  I'll  disclose  the  truth. 

Sir  P.  Yourself] 

Lady  E.  Myself — I  will  appeal  to  his  justice  and  his 
honor. 

Sir  P.  Yes. 

Lady  E.  A  few  moments  will  decide  our  fate — either  we 
are  all  lost,  or  at  the  pinnacle  of  success  and  fortune  !  [Exit. 

Sir  P.  Oh  !  she'll  be  recorded  in  history  as  a  heroine 
of  the  first  calibre.  It's  going  to  be  decided,  and  as  I 
have  so  ably  manoeuvred  the  whole  transaction,  I  should 
like  to  get  an  inkling  what  it's  all  about.  I  must  be  a  party 
in  the  business,  that's  certain  ;  may  be  I'd  credentials 
from  the  Foreign  Office  after  dinner,  and  I'd  forgot  them — 
but  whether  I  have  or  have  not,  whether  I  have  a  stamped 
reputation  as  a  man  of  genius,  or  lost  it  forever,  depends 
upon  this  awful  moment.  What  are  they  about  now  ? 
I  hear  a  bustle ;  I  tremble  for  the  lady's  sake. 

Enter  BARON  LOWENCRAFT. 
Baron.  Oh,  my  dear  sir !     [  Takes  Sir  Patrick's  hand. 


40  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  [ACT  II. 

Sir  P.  Oh,  my  dear  friend ! 

Baron.  Wish  me  joy. 

Sir  P.  I  do. 

Baron.  You  have  succeeded  for  me — done  all  I  desired 
of  you. 
,  Sir  P.  I  have  ] 

Baron.  You  have !  [In  a  whisper.]  My  rival  is  foiled, 
and  I  am  satisfied,  I  shall  acquaint  my  sovereign  with  the 
part  you  have  taken  in  this  affair,  and  if  ever  you  have 
occasion  for  his  services,  you  may  command  them. 

Sir  P.  Don't  trouble  yourself;  I  am  not  one  of  your 
paltry — 

Baron.  Hush ! 

Enter  COUNT  MORENOS  and  ISABELLA. 

Count.  My  dear  friend,  I  congratulate  you !  here,  my 
daughter  is  yours ! 

Sir  P.  Do  you  say  so  ? 

Count.  You  deserve  her — you  have  admirably  conducted 
this  business,  and  you  have  accomplished  my  utmost 
wishes. 

Sir  P.  You  have  succeeded  ] 

Count.  No,  no — you  have  taken  care  of  that !  [ In  a 
low  voice.]  But  at  least  you  have  defeated  Saxony,  and 
saved  my  honor  in  the  tenderest  point. 

Isabella.  Didn't  I  insist  upon  it  ?     He  couldn't  help  it. 

Sir  P.  Sure,  I  couldn't. 

Count.  And  now  I  confess,  sir,  that  genius  defies  all 
instruction  ;  you  have  this  day  shown  a  firmness,  a  finesse, 
in  the  midst  of  older  disciplinarians,  that  has  completely 
routed  them.  Your  countrywomen,  it  seems,  bear  the 
palm  from  us  all. 

Sir  P.  Lady  Emily  ? 

Count.  Lady  Emily  and  you,  may  now  judge  for 
yourselves,  the  value  of  a  profound,  accomplished,  diplo- 
matic talent. 

Sir  P.  I  have  prodigious  proofs  of  it,  certainly.  [Aside.] 
My  reputation  is  divided. 

Enter  RODOLPH,   the   GRAND   DUKE,  and  LADY  EMILY. 
Rodolph.  Victory !  victory !  My  dear  Sir  Patrick,   all 


SCENE  I.]  THE    IRISH    AMBASSADOR.  41 

is  discovered,  all  sanctioned,  and  you  can  no  longer  dis- 
guise your  services. 

Sir  P.  I  don't ;  I'm  too  proud  of  them. 

Duke.  [Half  aside  to  Sir  Patrick.]  Sir  Patrick,  this  has 
been  cleverly  managed;  but  though  they  pretend  that 
they  are  married,  I'll  wager  one  hundred  dollars  they  are 
not. 

Rodolph.  [Aside  to  Sir  Patrick.]  Done  ! 

Sir  P.  Done  !  we'll  produce  the  certificate. 

Duke.  \Aside.\  Hush ! — At  all  events,  'tis  admirably 
managed.  [To  the  Ambassadors.]  I  hope,  gentlemen,  we 
shall  now  part  friends ;  and  you,  Sir  Patrick,  I  trust,  will 
no  longer  disguise  yourself  in  a  career  so  worthy  of  you ; 
and,  as  the  affair  is  settled,  to-morrow  it  shall  be  published 
in  full  in  our  official  journal. 

Sir  P.  Then  I  shall  not  know  what  I  have  been  doing 
till  to-morrow — that  will  be  as  well;  all  I  have^done  will 
then  be  unfolded  for  the  information  of  the  public — 
[jl^'Je.] — and  myself  at  the  same  time — and  I  hope  that 
my  patrons  at  home,  as  well  as  my  rivals  abroad,  will 
ratify  the  success  of  their  IRISH  AMBASSADOR. 


THE    END 


IETURN 


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UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA,  BERKELt 
FORM  NO.  DD6,  60m,  12/80        BERKELEY,  CA  94720 


Gaylamount 

Pamphlet 

Binder 

Gaylord  Bros.,  Inc. 

Stockton,  Calif. 
T.  M.  Reg.  U.S.  Pat. Off. 


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